Alrighty, now you all know about me and my family. the music, the people, the culture. all the shit i have been posting lately because i havent gotten the inspiritaion to write something. But now i think it has come back, yay. As you may or may not know, i have been writing fan fictions for about a year now and even though they might be as good but i think they compelte shit, i dont get many reviews for them and i fine with that, its only about getting the words out, right? So, yes i write fan fictions and so far, things have gone well. so i was thinking about posting them here. I have a membership to a website that is a community of us and i have about 6 fic, 5 of them are finished and i am in the process of the sixth one. Then my adultfanficition website membership, i have a few their and i like where some of those are going, even though they may not be finished(some, not all) i....(sigh) dont know what i am doing.
I have been thinking more and more about school and then i had finally decided that i was going to start in Januaray of 2008 and yet, i still dont know what i want to major in. At first it was law, and then i acted before i thought things through and was accepted into the program and yet i didnt even go to classes because i had decided to take a year off. In that time off, i thought about what i wanted to do and then i was struck with an artist look and decided that maybe photography was meant for me, i went out and bought disposable cameras and 2 regular ones and took
pictures.
moms took them to get developed and yet i dont think we have seen them yet we still havent seen them yet. But i know that from what i took pics of, i dont have the eye that most artist get, so i guess that was premature of me to start looking at art school and everything. Then for 4weeks i did nothing but read, and then i thought, "hmm, why not get an english major." seems perfect right? i love reading and talking about books i have read, it sounds perfect. The downside: the only job i could get with an english degree is teacher and i AM NOT the teaching kind. i hate kids and so no.
Great, now i am back at square one. What the hell am i suppose to major in? why is so easy for others to know what they want to do, what to major in and i cant even find employment in fucking south jersey and yet i want to get an education so i can move on. (HUGE SIGH)
I feel stuck, and i hate that feeling. My mind gets restless and i end up giving up on sleep and think all night long, and i end up tired the next morning but with ideas steaming but they are all based on a sleepless night, which i hate. When my noggin gets restless i end up feeling weird and stupid because i am not like other people and they would be in the 2nd year of school by now, but not me... i had to take a year off and now i am behind everyone but it doesnt matter to me, i just want to know what the hell i am suppose to do with my life. why cant someone do it for me? i bet that they would tell me and i wouldnt have a problem with it and yet i cant get together ideas in my head about what would be best for me and it is my life, i cant have someone plan out my entire life for me.
I tried to think about everything clearly and i am still coming up emypt. This feeling sucks and i dont know why.
I need help and suggestions that would provide me with some sort of idea what i should do, maybe a major that i havent thought of. maybe a career that hasnt brushed through my landmine of a brain. This just...really sucks.
I feel lost.
I have been thinking more and more about school and then i had finally decided that i was going to start in Januaray of 2008 and yet, i still dont know what i want to major in. At first it was law, and then i acted before i thought things through and was accepted into the program and yet i didnt even go to classes because i had decided to take a year off. In that time off, i thought about what i wanted to do and then i was struck with an artist look and decided that maybe photography was meant for me, i went out and bought disposable cameras and 2 regular ones and took
pictures.
moms took them to get developed and yet i dont think we have seen them yet we still havent seen them yet. But i know that from what i took pics of, i dont have the eye that most artist get, so i guess that was premature of me to start looking at art school and everything. Then for 4weeks i did nothing but read, and then i thought, "hmm, why not get an english major." seems perfect right? i love reading and talking about books i have read, it sounds perfect. The downside: the only job i could get with an english degree is teacher and i AM NOT the teaching kind. i hate kids and so no.
Great, now i am back at square one. What the hell am i suppose to major in? why is so easy for others to know what they want to do, what to major in and i cant even find employment in fucking south jersey and yet i want to get an education so i can move on. (HUGE SIGH)
I feel stuck, and i hate that feeling. My mind gets restless and i end up giving up on sleep and think all night long, and i end up tired the next morning but with ideas steaming but they are all based on a sleepless night, which i hate. When my noggin gets restless i end up feeling weird and stupid because i am not like other people and they would be in the 2nd year of school by now, but not me... i had to take a year off and now i am behind everyone but it doesnt matter to me, i just want to know what the hell i am suppose to do with my life. why cant someone do it for me? i bet that they would tell me and i wouldnt have a problem with it and yet i cant get together ideas in my head about what would be best for me and it is my life, i cant have someone plan out my entire life for me.
I tried to think about everything clearly and i am still coming up emypt. This feeling sucks and i dont know why.
I need help and suggestions that would provide me with some sort of idea what i should do, maybe a major that i havent thought of. maybe a career that hasnt brushed through my landmine of a brain. This just...really sucks.
I feel lost.
